by JEFF MARSHALL. Jeff is a musician, humorist, gardener, and uncle from Decatur, IL. Jeff is also Sara’s cousin and life-long dear friend.

Jeff Marshall, humor

1) THRIFT SHOPS – I used to be a snob! I really did! I wouldn’t dream of buying hand-me-downs, give-em-ups, or we-don’t-want-em-anymores. The idea of buying clothes worn by some anonymous person from some anonymous home in some anonymous town freaked me out. But then I finally bit the bullet and walked into a thrift store near my place of employment with a co-worker on my lunch break one day, and I was totally hooked! I’m not sure why I expected torn clothing and broken toaster ovens and VHS tapes from the 1970s with Erik Estrada. What I walked into was a whole new world, a dazzling place I never knew (thanks to the Aladdin peeps for that wonderful description). And everything was so cheap! And in good condition! And cheap! Honestly, in the world I would create, there would be five thrift shops for every WalMart.

2) BOLOGNA – I’m telling ya, folks, I’ve wined and dined in the finest restaurants of the world – OK, I haven’t, but that sounded really cool, didn’t it?!?! – and sometimes there just isn’t anything better than a good old fashioned bologna sandwich. I hadn’t had bologna in ages, but I had a coupon (refer to my first side-splitting blog for explanation), so I thought I’d give myself a treat! And what a treat it was!! Admittedly, it does scare me a little not knowing what the heck makes up a pieces of bologna. But I’ve never been one to shy away from something that tastes good just because I don’t know anything about it – just ask my waistline! Buffalo tongue, rhinoceros pancreas, duck billed platypus nuggets – if it pleases the pallet, bring it on! My only drawback with bologna is the spelling – come on, kids, how do you get BUH-LOW-KNEE from BO-LOG-NA?!!? I am soooo thankful English is my first language!

3) PAWN STARS – I’m not a huge TV watcher anymore. I used to schedule my day around certain programs. Not anymore. With the dogs, the garden, the work, the teaching, the music studio, the family – I’m lucky to catch a late night infomercial for Pearl Cream. My ONE exception is Pawn Stars on the History Channel! I have no idea what has caused my fascination for this program, but I am hooked. I literally have 60 episodes on my DVR. Think I’m lying???? Look at this….

pawn starsI think what I like is the dream we all have – buying something for 75 cents at a garage sale and finding out that it’s actually worth $38,000. I get chills just thinking about it. It’s also a whole heck of a lot of fun to see these people come in with their antique snow blowers and autographed pictures of Hulk Hogan and expect to leave with enough money to pay their mortgages. Fascinating!

4) BUBBLE SPEED – I’m going to keep this one short and sweet because it’s very embarrassing and I’m highly ashamed and I share it with you only because I’m contractually obligated by Sara and the blogging police to be utterly honest. Bubble Speed is a game on Facebook that I can’t…stop…playing. It’s my mom and dad’s fault – they started playing and I told them how any moron could do it, and now we have a weekly cutthroat competition to see who will win. Pride is a dangerous thing, my friends, a dangerous thing! I wish I could report back to you that I’ve easily won week after week. That being said, I don’t have the luxury of being retired and playing for hours and hours on end if I choose to do so. It must be nice! Don’t try playing it. Don’t look at it. Don’t even think about it. You will end up in a 12-step group, I promise you!

What are you currently obsessed with? Leave a comment and tell me all about it!

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