Last week, we had to make a terrible decision.

We parent children with intense emotional needs. For the sake of my children’s privacy, I won’t go into specific details, but I can tell you the effects of early loss run long and deep.

A time had arrived when reaching out for more help was the safest choice.

We had known this day would probably come, but we put it off out of fear. What would be the ramifications for our child if we made this decision? For our family? We didn’t want to go there.

Had we failed as parents if we went down this road?

A Terrible Decision

The day is branded white-hot with pain into my memory.

I alternated between keeping busy and lying in bed crying. I fluttered around the house doing everything, and then I sat staring at the wall, doing nothing.

I felt vindicated and angry. I was exhausted and numb. I ached with emptiness.

I felt relieved.

My husband handled the logistics. He called me from across town with a list of details. We needed this and this, and also this.

I walked downstairs to talk to my 17 year old daughter and ask her to watch her little brother. I started to cry. “Don’t worry, Mom, I’ve got you covered.”

Upstairs, I stood in the middle of a bedroom attempting to pack items. My 19 year old daughter found me frantic and useless. She hugged me. “Here, Mom, let me help.” My 13 year old son joined us, too.

It was a terrible day with a terrible decision.

Yet…I was surprised to discover the decision did not lead to a free-fall of despair.

These problems are not ones with quick fixes or easy answers, but we found new insights and resources. We rested. We prayed. Friends reached out hands to catch us. We were given comfort and support.

A Picture of Hope

One evening during these days, I drove to this building. As I drove, I cried and prayed. The situation seemed desperate and hopeless. I parked my car and as I walked toward the building, this sight greeted me.

The ark of the rainbow was not only over the building, it stopped at the exact spot where I was headed for my meeting.

Rainbow of Hope

God had given me a gift. I was given a picture of hope.

You may be facing a terrible decision. Do not give in to the enemy’s lies that it will lead to a free-fall of despair.

God is waiting on the other side of your decision with a picture of hope.

For when you are facing a terrible decision