by Jeff Marshall

Jeff Marshall, humor

I gotta share with you that this week’s blog was inevitable – a sign from God Himself. I had a couple topics I was considering, but everything just fell into place.

A couple days ago, Sara shared on her Facebook status the fact that she received a Christmas catalog in the mail – in October. Yes, before Halloween – even before Columbus Day. And on my way home from work, I was behind a car with the license plate XMS YET 7 – with a piece of white tape on the bottom part of the 7 – making it a question mark. XMS YET ? True story!

Christmas was actually one of the topics I was considering – namely the fact that the Christmas season is now required to begin in early fall. After these signs were not so subtly brought into my life – I knew my blog was ready, and I was ready to pounce!

Do you all remember the Faith Hill song WHERE ARE YOU CHRISTMAS from the awful live action version of HOW THE GRINCH STOLE CHRISTMAS with Jim Carrey? In the song, she asks, “Where are you Christmas? Why can’t I find you?”

Well, Faith, honey, I don’t know under what rock you’re living, but if you can’t find Christmas nowadays by late September/early October, you’re a lost cause!

I’ve been spending the day trying to figure out when exactly the tide turned for me. When did I go from starting to make my Christmas list shortly after Valentine’s Day to becoming the big fat old Scrooge who refuses to listen to “Deck the Halls” until December 15 at the earliest?

How discouraging it is for me to walk through the aisle of my local Hobby Lobby to see Halloween costumes in the same aisle as Christmas ornaments! The jack-o-lanterns are wearing Santa hats! The scarecrows have jingle bells around their necks! I’m so confused.

I love a good Christmas carol as much as the next person, but not while I’m buying hot dogs and marshmallows for the annual wiener roast. Seriously, kids, by the time December 25 finally rolls around, if I hear about one more partridge in a pear tree, I’m half tempted to take out my rifle and serve it for brunch.

I LOVE Christmas, I really do – it’s a beautiful time to celebrate Christ and to gather with family and join hands with everyone in Whoville! But please join me in delaying the celebration till at least the first of December. Or even the day after Thanksgiving. I’ll give you that much.

Phew, I feel much better now. Thank you for letting me vent. But I’m afraid I need to go now and start searching for Christmas presents…

Until next Friday, I wish you peace and love! And a big fat Christmas club account!

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