When I was in high school youth group, one night our youth leader gave out fun awards to each member, matching our personality or something silly we had done during that year.
My award? The Crazy Cackle Award.
Let’s just say I’ve never been the quiet type. And at times, this has really unnerved me.
I’ve felt…
- Too loud.
- Too pushy.
- Too obnoxious.
- Just all-in-all too much.
When You Connect with People
I love people, and I’m not afraid to introduce myself and start a conversation.
I don’t just talk. I listen, learn, and connect with other people, too.
My kids are used to standing in hallways or waiting in the car while I finish conversations. “Mom, you do talk a lot,” Kiersten, my ever-honest daughter reminded me reminded me awhile back.
When you are someone who connections with people on a regular basis, whether you are an extrovert or an introvert (it doesn’t matter which), sometimes you will feel like you are too much.
You will second guess yourself. I do this at times.
“Why did I say that? I cannot believe I just say that.”
“She must think I’m such a idiot.”
“Are they laughing about me behind my back right now?”
“If I could go back in time, I would say that totally differently.”
“Did I monopolize the whole conversation?”
Then I rework the conversation in my mind. If I’m not careful, I start to obsess about it.
And I start to get smaller. I want to hole up and hide. I doubt myself, overthinking every decision and every turn of the conversation.
When You are the Biggest Person in the Room
When I was 100+ pounds heavier, I worried that I would be the biggest person at every party, church event, or get-together. And often times, I was.
You would think being the biggest would match my outgoing personality, but when you are heavy, people look past you. Men ignore you. Women glance over you.
You can be the biggest person in the room, yet it’s like you are invisible.
As I began losing weight, it was like shedding the armor I had built up over the years. This was exciting and terrifying. I didn’t want people to see the real me. What if they didn’t like what they saw?
When You Feel Like You Are Too Much
Here’s the thing about when you are with people. You are out in the world. You are connecting and this is good.
You won’t always get it right.
Give yourself grace and move forward.
Whatever feels like too much about yourself —
- too loud
- too smart
- too bold
- too obnoxious
- too small
- too big
- too anything
Remember that you are as God created you to be in this moment.
Live Your Light
My dear friend, please hear this important truth, written for you to understand at this moment. Let it sink down into your soul.
You are not too much.
Never live small so that others can shine.
Live your light.
When you live as who you are, you point others to Jesus and they see His light shining in You.
Nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.
Matthew 5:15-16
A friend once gave me what is perhaps the greatest compliment I have received in my life. She said, “You have this light, Sara, that shines in you. Other people are drawn to it and they want to be around you. There are not that many people in the world who are like you.”
I was touched and humbled by her tremendous compliment, and grateful for it. Her words have carried me far during some of my darkest moments.
Yet I also know a greater truth. It’s not about me. This light is Jesus shining in me. You have it, too, when Jesus shines through you.
Do you ever feel like you are too much? How do you respond when you have these feelings?
I can really relate to this because it happens to me only about every day. I deal with it by trying to have loads of compassion for myself instead of judgement. I am going to try to let my light shine without being so hyper critical. Great article. Thanks!
Stacey, you are a wonderful person who has nothing to worry about. You are never too much. You have a beautiful light that the world needs to see more of. 🙂