Sweet lessons from my sons about how to teach our boys about romance.
As You Wish
My teen daughters and I have taken on the challenge of teaching the young men in our family the finer points of how to treat a woman, what it means to be a gentleman, and why it bugs us when they chew with their mouths wide open at the dinner table.
Should you share a meal with one of my boys, please keep in mind this is a work in progress.
You are welcome, future daughters-in-law of mine.
My daughter Kiersten and I were standing in the kitchen having a conversation about weddings when Paul strolled in.
At 10 years old, Paul has come to the age where he likes the idea of a “girlfriend”, although he considers the thought of standing too close to a girl icky, and kissing one would be horrid.
I turned to Paul and jokingly asked, “Paul, do you know what happens at the end of weddings?” thinking of when the pastor tells the groom he may kiss his bride.
Paul said, “Yes! They get to eat cake. I’m going to run down to aisle with my bride so we can get to the cake as fast as we can!”
As I was having visions of Paul dragging his poor future bride down the aisle, tripping over her wedding gown in an attempt to race toward the butter cream frosting, Paul surprised me.
After Kiersten and I finished laughing, I said, “Paul, a wedding is the bride’s special day. It’s her day to be the most beautiful woman in the world. Take care of your bride. Let me give you some advice about before the wedding, too. Someday when you are planning your wedding, whatever the bride wants, you say, ‘Yes honey,’ or ‘Okay, dear.'”
Paul replied with, “No, mom, I’m going to tell her, ‘As you wish.'”
Kiersten and I exchanged a look, duly impressed.
Our family is Princess Bride obsessed, and Paul was referring to this scene:
So Paul knows how to romance a girl after all.
She’d just better wear Nikes under her satin and lace.
How to Teach Our Boys About Romance
As I pondered this conversation later, I considered how we could best teach our boys about romance. Here are 3 important truths to incorporate into our everyday lives:
- We need to let our sons take care of us. A gentleman takes care of those around him. He keeps the needs of others in mind, which is at the heart of romance. As our boys grow, it’s important they they begin, first in small ways and then in bigger ones, to take care of us as their moms, sisters, and other women in their lives. As a mom I spend so much time giving and being the caretaker. I need to slowly step back and allow my sons to take care of me as they grow up.
- Specifically point out ways our husbands are romantic. I will make a point of telling my boys the ways my husband is romantic, and why it’s important to me. This will build up my husband and set an example for my sons.
- Guide our sons to God, who is the center of every relationship. Most important, we continually show our boys the most important relationship there is — with their Savior, Jesus Christ.
I Made a Wish…
This summer our family was meandering around downtown Estes Park, Colorado after a day of hiking, enjoying some window shopping. My son Josiah, 12 years old, pulled me over to a shop window to show me something. “Mom, you have to come see this!”
I expected the newest Lego set. Perhaps something computer or techno-gadget related.
Instead he showed me a sign in a wedding shop window that said,
I made a wish and you came true.
“Look, Mom, isn’t that cool?” he asked me with the biggest grin on his face.
“Yes, it really is wonderful,” I told him, trying to play it cool. ‘Cause moms of pre-teen boys need to play it cool.
Privately I was thinking, my boy is definitely growing up. Our lessons are sinking in.
Josiah’s future wife is one fortunate girl.
This is a good reminder to be praying for the future brides, wherever they are out there today. As we teach our sons about romance, may we all do the same.
What thoughts do you have for teaching boys about romance?
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