rock stars

Our 10 year old was having trouble making good choices at school. I wanted to give him a tangible reminder that I knew he could make good choices.

The next morning before school, I brought out the silver sparkly Sharpie. I took his hand in mine, turned it over, and on the inside of his wrist, drew a small star. I told him, “You are a Rock Star Kid! I know you will make good choices today.” He looked up at me with big brown eyes and a smile. “I am?” he asked me. “You bet!” I told him, and kissed the inside of his wrist, thinking to myself, why don’t I do these things more often?

His 6 year old brother was standing nearby. “No fair! Why does he get a star and not me?” Out came the silver Sharpie again for another star, another Rock Star kid, another kiss on the wrist, and another reminder he can make good choices.

As we were leaving for school, the boys asked me, “Where is your star, Mommy?” So I added a star to my wrist too. After all, I’m a rock star and able to make good choices.

I met my husband for a late breakfast to plan an upcoming speaking engagement we’ll be leading at a conference, and told him about my morning conversations with our boys. Out came the silver Sharpie. I pulled his hand into mine. I told him he is my Rock Star husband who makes great choices.

He told me I’m a great mom, and I’m beautiful.

After school, my 18 year old daughter came home and started her homework on her laptop. My son came running in to tattle to me that she was looking at “in-a-pro-pi-ape” pictures on her computer. She received her silver star while doing her Human Anatomy homework.

When I gave my 16 year old daughter her star, she asked if the whole family could get tattoos of silver stars together.

Before bed that night, our math-minded 13 year old son came up to sit by the side of my bed. I took his hand in mine and drew his silver star on the inside of his wrist. He said, “Cool!” then, “Can I borrow the marker? You missed a tiny spot.”

wrist stars

Families go out, and then we come back in. We go out into the world to each separately do our thing, then we come back in together to be refreshed, and do life together.

As a mom, so often I feel like I flub up that come-back-in time. I’m grouchy. I’m distracted. I’m tired. Yet…we are still here. We are still doing life. Together.

Let’s give our families something to hold on to for when they go out. Let’s give them something that says, you are one of us. Mine is a star — yours can be a cross, a fish, a heart. It can be a drawing or an object. You will be amazed at how much your small gestures matter to your family.

Choose what says, “Hold on until you come back in. I’ll be waiting for you. You are a Rock Star to me.”

How to Make Your Kids (and Husband) Feel Like Rock Stars|The Holy Mess