by Jeff Marshall

Jeff Marshall, humor

Happy Black Friday!

Today I offer an abbreviated but still heartfelt Fun Friday Blog for your (hopeful) enjoyment and amusement. I am writing this at 10:11AM on Thanksgiving morning as I finish preparations on my meal contributions for the holiday. I am making my homemade bacon ranch and chipotle ranch pasta salads (OK, it’s Betty Crocker), my homemade rice dish (OK, it’s Zatarains), and my homemade dinner rolls (thank you to the good people in the County Market bakery). All this cooking from scratch is absolutely exhausting!

Since time is running short, I thought I’d just share with you a brief list of things I am especially thankful for this Thanksgiving. I know it’s a novel concept – never been done before. I am really breaking down the barriers as to what’s possible in 21st century journalism. But, hey, they pay me to be funny, not original. Actually, I don’t get paid at all. Sara, we need to talk…

At 10:16AM on Thursday, November 27, 2014, I am thankful for:

1) Randy the heater repairman who brought warmth and mirth to a cold and icy home.

2) The genius who came up with the idea of putting peanut butter AND jelly in the SAME jar. Love you!

3) Elastic.

4) The People’s Court, All About That Bass, The Muppets, The Game Show Network, and my other guilty pleasures.

5) Sweatpants.

6) Those friends and family who live hundreds of miles away yet manage to stay in better touch with me than those in my own area. E-mail and texting may be impersonal but it’s sure a lifesaver sometimes.

7) Drawstring waistbands.

8) The fact that INTO THE WOODS will finally be at a theater near me in less than a month.

9) Tailors who know how to keep secrets.

10) Waking up laughing after a particularly funny dream, which I remember in great detail and which will be a great conversation starter over the Thanksgiving dinner table.

11) Good Morning America, for reporting the other day that skinny mirrors are indeed a reality.

12) The lady who told me earlier this week that I have a voice made for radio; however, I am not thankful for the gentleman who heard this and told me I also have a face made for radio.

13) And, finally, I’m thankful for all of you who take the time every Friday to read this silly blog and make me feel like my voice is important. You’re good for the ego!

Enjoy this time with your family and friends, and to you brave and crazy people who will be getting up at 2AM on Black Friday to risk death and dismemberment to get 10% off that Black and Decker blender, best of luck and may the force be with you!

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