We are moving from the across the county from Colorado to New York, selling the house we have lived in for the last 16 years.
This house is the only one our children remember, and for several of them the only house they have ever lived in.
My husband and I asked the kids about some special memories they wanted to share. “All my memories are here, mom,” my daughter Kiersten reminded me. “I can’t choose.” This is all our children know when they think of the word home.
How do you say goodbye to a house you have loved?
How do you begin to bring closure to a place that holds so much shared history?
Last weekend we had the chance to gather for a time of devotion and blessing. It wasn’t long or fancy, but it was meaningful for our family. Here is what we did.
How to Say Goodbye to a House You Have Loved
1. Share Memories in Each Room
We walked through the rooms of our house and shared memories in each one. We shared positive memories, but didn’t shy away from the negative ones either. Mike and I learned some of the stuff the kids got away with. Our kids learned parts of family history from when they were too little to remember.
- We reminisced about when we finished the basement and the kids were too scared to sleep downstairs at first. Now they are teenagers and we have to pound on the walls to get them to come up.
- We talked about years of Christmases with different locations of the Christmas tree.
- We talked about all the colors of bedroom walls over the years, and found teeny places where you can still see flecks of blues, reds, and pinks if you know where to look.
- We remembered who shared bedrooms when, and where there was placement of cribs, toddler beds, bunk beds, and lofts.
There was plenty of, “Oh yeah, I remember that!” and, “I never knew that!” and, “That was my favorite one.”
2. Say a House Blessing
As we walked from room to room sharing our memories, Mike also said a house blessing in each room.
Mike used a house blessing similar to this one: How to Do a House Blessing
(Here is another house blessing resource.)
While a house blessing is often done by a pastor, it can be done by any leader of the home. We often think of a house blessing as proper when you move into a house (a great time to do it!), but it can be done at any time.
If your family has gone through a time of trial or difficulty within your home, consider a house blessing as a way to ask God to come into your home and refresh your family’s faith life.
These words are not a magical incantation and will not cause everything in your house to suddenly turn into perfection. Yet there is power here, often beyond what we can humanly understand. Consider Isaiah 55:11, “So shall my word be that goeth forth out of my mouth: it shall not return unto me void, but it shall accomplish that which I please, and it shall prosper in the thing whereto I sent it.” (KJV)
3. Break Bad Memories
Not all memories in a house are good ones. We decided to formally say goodbye to the bad memories.
We took an old desk that was in the Goodwill pile (lots and lots of stuff is currently in the Goodwill pile) and took turns writing down negative memories we had from our time living in this house.
Then we destroyed it! Time to let it go. We are forgiven and ready to start fresh.
Time to break bad memories and habits. We used an old desk we were going to get rid of anyway.
You go!
Bad memories and habits, broken. Ready for a fresh start!
4. Leave a Secret Message
We are leaving the kids’ backyard play fort behind, so we figured that would be the perfect place to leave a fun secret message for the new owners of our home. Maybe soon or maybe later, their kids will find our hidden messages!
Leave a secret message for the new owners to find. (Or their kids!)
Secret messages
5. Take Pictures
Some of the most helpful advice I’ve learned when it comes to sorting through the stuff and de-cluttering of moving is to take pictures of meaningful items instead of keeping all the items. That way your house won’t be cluttered with stuff you don’t use. What matters is the memories, and you have those.
The same is true of a house you have loved. Take plenty of pictures and remember it’s the memories that matter.
There are many ways to say goodbye to a house you have loved. It doesn’t have to be fancy to be meaningful.
How have you said goodbye to a house you have loved?
Sara Recommends
After the Boxes Are UnPacked — book
Moving with Kids — book
Moving Stretch Wrap –highly recommend!
1-800-Got Junk — removal company, highly recommend
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We have been praying for the last two years for my husband to find a new job and God answered our prayers. I’ve always been told when we plan God laughs and I feel He did this time too. My husband got offered a job that will hopefully be all set to go in about 90 days. That means in that time I have to try to sell our first home we bought together only a year and a half ago and get us moved with three kids, one of which will be born about three weeks before we are to move cross country. Scary ,exciting, emotional, and everything in between.
We have had a vacation home for 13 years now and my husband is tired of caring for it, rather than actually having time to have some fun. So, I agreed to sell it with him and God sent a buyer rather quickly — people who needed to move back into the country from Panama. I know they will enjoy the home very much but every time I look out the kitchen window and see the wildlife and woodsy area, I start to cry. Other “real” house is in the suburbs and when I look out the window, I see kids and people coming and going. I am not sure how I will cope with the move as I adjust to putting 2 houses into 1 but I am trying to be brave for my husband. I keep asking God to give me peace about it and at times I feel OK but other times all I can do is cry.
Your post touched my heart! What a tough thing to give up a home that has meant so much to you. I will be praying for you, Judy. Thinking of you. The house sounds beautiful and like you have had some wonderful family memories there. If you get a chance to get the book “After the Boxes are Unpacked” that book as helped me SO MUCH.
My only regret when my parents’ house was sold is that I didn’t grab some dirt to place in a jar?
What a great idea, Pamela! That’s one I hadn’t thought of.
This is a great post! We are selling my parents home after a sudden death. These are great ideas.
I’m so sorry to hear of your loss. I hope the sale goes smoothly and you are able to find support as you get through this emotional time.
I had a hard time when I had to sale my old care that was so special to me. It had alot of memories.
Good point, Megan, it’s not always a house that holds special memories. Take care.
I love this post! My husband and I just sold the house I lived in for sixteen years {my entire adult life} and it also happened to be the house my grandparents lived in for their entire marriage. So there were many memories and emotions tied to this house for me. I blogged my goodbyes rather excessively, devoting a post to each room and the beautiful memories there. On our last actual day before we sold it, we walked through each room and cried, we prayed one last prayer, and danced one last dance in the living room. {Our entire relationship was founded in that house.} I have a 150 page scrapbook chronicling the story of how God finally sold this house after five years of trying and brought us to our new house, and I treasure that so much. Saying goodbye was so hard, but it was so beautiful!!
Thanks so much for your comment! Your story about your house sounds amazing. I’m headed over to your blog to check it out now.
My parents are moving from the house I grew up in. They are excited, but every time they talk about clearing out the house I feel sad. The realtors took out their furniture and “staged” it with their own. These are great tips. I hope your move goes well and God leads you to great new experiences.
Hi Valerie, Thanks so much for your comment. I understand staging but to put in all new furniture, that’s kind of crazy! It’s gone to a whole new level in this day and age of HGTV. It’s super hard to say goodbye to a childhood home. Thinking of you.
Sara,
Welcome to Buffalo! I read your post and my heart felt the tug of what it must have been like to leave a home behind. A house is a home when it is filled with love and cherished memories. I am praying for you and your family during this time of change. May your NEW home be filled with immeasurable JOY and may your entire family feel the presence of God as he carries you through this new journey! I also want you to know that there are so many of us in Buffalo who wish to support you and make you feel welcome! Blessings to you and yours!
– Erica
P.S. When it is my turn to move, I’ll remember this!
Erica, thank you so much for the warm welcome! Everyone has been very gracious and we are excited to get moved and settled. It’s a big change, but we are ready for new opportunities as well.
Wow, this is just wonderful Sara! It was hard to leave our CA house of 22 years when we moved to TX a year ago. My 27 yr old son came over the night before we left and even though the movers had already taken every stick of furniture we sat on the floor and he didn’t want to go back to his own apartment.
I can totally relate! I’m glad you and your son had that time together, just sharing in the moment, even though it was hard.