Being single is tough.
Being single and 44 (well, 45 on March 7 – send me money) is often beyond tough.
It feels like being a cast away on a deserted island with only Wilson the volleyball to appreciate your company.
I knew a long time ago that I was most likely not destined to marry. Some things you just feel in your gut.
While certainly not a hermit, I do consider myself a loner with agoraphobic tendencies. In other words, I would not go stir crazy were I to find myself homebound by myself for any extended length of time.
I share this with you only because choosing to remain single has taught me to trust my instincts rather than follow society’s expectations of me.
Hence my title: TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS
Maybe some of you feel the same way.
Society expects you to be married by a certain age, to have 2.75 children by another age, and so on and so forth. To journey away from this expectation is difficult.
Single friends get married and frankly treat you like a pariah. A social life can be difficult when you feel like a third or fifth or seventh wheel (or any odd number of your choosing). Family gatherings inevitably include the obligatory questions as to when you’re going to tie the knot.
To be honest, there were times in my life when I almost succumbed to tying that knot – not out of love or desire but out of pressure to join the norm. Thankfully, my instincts kicked in and I realized that wouldn’t be fair either to myself or to my intended.
Matthew 19:12 states, “…others have renounced marriage because of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it.”
1 Corinthians 7:8 states, “Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I am.”
Remaining single has been a blessing in many ways. After my mother passed away suddenly in 2014, I was able to relocate to live with my father and care for him. An unusually close and unique bond with my nieces and nephew has filled the void of never having children.
My life obviously isn’t perfect, but I count the many blessings I have and hope my fellow single friends out there are able to do the same.
I would encourage those of you who are content with your singleness to appreciate it as a gift, to use your circumstances toward living a fulfilling life, and to never negate your life choice in any way.
It takes bravery to live the life you feel destined to live, whether that be as a single person or a married parent of 12 children. We all have our calling.
Trust your instincts, my friends.
Live the life you feel God has called you to lead. Take advantage of every opportunity to live according to His will for your life. Don’t let the questions of others cause you to doubt your worth.
And we’ll always have Wilson.
OTHER POSTS YOU MIGHT ENJOY:
Pros and Cons of 40 and Single
Single Parents. You Seriously Rock.
Chocolate Chip Cookie for One Recipe
- Living Single in a Couples’ World
- Three’s a Crowd
- Single Parents. You Seriously Rock.
- Valentine’s Day When You Are Single: 5 Helpful Survival Strategies
- Trust Your Instincts
- You Belong. You Matter. You Are Important.
Being nearly 55, living in a male-dominated culture in Africa, where 99.9% of the women at my age are married, widowed or divorced and having only couples and families as coworkers – talk about tough. It’s been also a blessing since I couldn’t do my ministry that God called me to, but the loneliness remains.
Great post. I married at the age of 45. Could I have been married earlier? Yes. But chose to follow where my instincts and God lead me. Now my life is wonderful with the man I love. Before this I came to accept that I would stay single and not only accepted it but embraced it. And it was wonderful. Trust God and bloom where you are planted. By the way—I love reading your posts and look forward to Saturday mornings to see what you have to say. Great job!
Thank you for this… a 43 y/o very content single female.