- Weight Loss Motivation for How to Lose 100 Pounds
- 100 lb Weight Loss: How I Gained and (Then Lost 100 Pounds)
- Do You Need a Weight Loss Miracle?
- How Can I Lose Weight When I am Exhausted?
- What to Expect from Weight Loss Therapy
- Is Your Weight Plateau Due to Self-Sabotage?
- 100 lb Weight Loss: Defining Moments — Paul’s Story
- How to Run a 5k When You Are Not Athletic
- 100 lb Weight Loss: How to Learn to Love Exercise
- 100 lb Weight Loss: Why the Finish Line is Not the Toughest Line
- Motivational Words That Changed My Life
- Fitness Trackers for Women: How They Help with Plateaus
- 100 lb Weight Loss: Answers to Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)
Do you feel like your weight plateau might be caused by self-sabotage? Self-sabotage is common on a weight loss journey. When you want something so badly – in this case, weight loss – it seems absolutely crazy that you would stop yourself from getting it. Yet self-sabotage can stop you in your tracks, so it’s important to recognize what is going on when this happens.
Is Your Weight Plateau Due to Self-Sabotage?
Self-sabotage, sometimes called fear of success, is totally real. Self-sabotage happened to me.
I learned to overcome it during my weight loss journey and you can, too. I started therapy for compulsive overeating and binge eating in the Fall of 2004. When I first started therapy, I did no diet or exercise of any type. I wasn’t ready for it. I just focused on getting myself to therapy and surviving the sessions.
But after awhile, I knew I needed some type of food accountability system.
In the Spring of 2005, I made the decision to start the Weight Watchers Online program. I had done the Weight Watchers program with meetings before, but at that time the online program was relatively new. The idea of being able to use the program in the privacy of my own home appealed to me.
At this point in my therapy journey process, I had not yet attempted any type of weight loss.
This began a whole new step in my food addiction recovery, one that would encompass the next two years of my life. In retrospect, I see this as my time of learning to embrace two incredibly important concepts that have completely changed my life: Fear and Success.
Overcoming Weight Loss Plateau
I began to experience success. I started to lose weight. It didn’t seem real to me at first because I was still eating a relatively large amount of food, but because it was less than I had been eating, it worked.
Weight Watchers does work well for many individuals. I have even shared tips from Weight Watchers members before that have been a part of their success.
Each weigh-in on my home scale, I thought surely my weight would stay the same or I would even gain weight, but each week the scale would show a weight loss. It usually wasn’t huge — one or two pounds, but it was steady.
Throughout this whole process, I was still binge eating. I’m not proud of that fact, but it is the truth and is part of my story.
I faithfully followed the Weight Watchers program, recording what I was eating and calculating my points. Except when I wasn’t.
Typically I would track and record my points for the whole week extremely faithfully — obsessively — and veer off course for 1-2 days or partial days per week. My pattern would often be to weigh in on Tuesday mornings, have great weekdays, then get off track and binge over the weekend, only to start fresh on Monday morning. Then the cycle would repeat.
Still, even with the binge eating I was eating fewer calories and experiencing weight loss.
How I Managed Fear in my Weight Loss Journey
This success stirred up fears within me. Internal voices of self-doubt, denial, and skepticism began to whisper criticisms.
The voices inside my head said things like:
- Sure, I had lost weight before, but I always gained it back.
- Why would this time be any different?
- Look at the binge eating I was still doing — was I making true changes?
- People don’t really change, anyway, do they?
I was desperately afraid of failure. Unlike people I see today who share all over Instagram and Facebook, I told no one I was doing Weight Watchers. I didn’t want anyone to judge me if I messed up and gained the weight back. I was afraid to eat in front of people for fear of what they would think of my food choices.
After I had lost 50 pounds, it became obvious I was losing weight and people started to compliment me. I craved their compliments, yet I was terrified of the attention. In essence, I wasn’t handling my fear at all. I was letting it handle me.
What is Self-Sabotage?
Self-sabotage comes in many forms, but in my case, it was overeating because I was afraid of failure. It’s not conscious but it’s those behaviors that keep you stuck. Thankfully, these are patterns that can be fixed.
Fear of success is in some ways fear of failure in a prettier package. It’s the fear of falling from the top. What if I achieve this level of success (in my case, weight loss), only to come crashing down in front of my whole world watching?
Fear of success is the expectations we place upon ourselves for when we have ARRIVED.
Through therapy, I learned I pictured myself at my goal weight as being a thin, smiling, always-on-the-go, well-dressed, snazzy Sara who had her life together. Who wants to live up to that totally unrealistic standard? I don’t think I would even want to be friends with someone like her, let alone be her. No thanks, I’ll just stay here being (miserably, but at least comfortably) heavy.
So I would self-sabotage and overeat in order to stay here.
I spent so many years idolizing what life would be like when I finally got to my goal weight that I needed to go through the mental work of painstakingly deconstructing this myth. Once I realized I could still be my regular messed up, normal self — a thinner, happier, but still normal version — those fears began to fade and I stopped sabotaging my progress.
Hopefully, your weight plateau is not because of self-sabotage. If it is, however, maybe my journey to overcome will shed some light on this and help you through the tough days.
Free Self-Sabotage Quiz
Is it possible that you self-sabotage your progress, especially in the area of weight loss?
Take our free self-sabotage quiz to find out.
After you take the quiz, check out our Self-Sabotage No More! Workshop to end self-sabotage for good so that you can get to your goals.
- Weight Loss Motivation for How to Lose 100 Pounds
- 100 lb Weight Loss: How I Gained (Then Lost) 100 Pounds
- Do You Need a Weight Loss Miracle?
- How Can I Lose Weight When I am Exhausted?
- What It’s Like to Attend Therapy for Weight Loss
- Is Your Weight Plateau Due to Self-Sabotage?
- 100 lb Weight Loss: Defining Moments — Paul’s Story
- How to Run a 5k When You Are Not Athletic
- 100 lb Weight Loss: How to Learn to Love Exercise
- 100 lb Weight Loss: Why the Finish Line is Not the Toughest Line
- Motivational Words That Changed My Life
- Fitness Trackers for Women: How They Help with Plateaus
- 100 lb Weight Loss: Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)
More Help for Overcoming a Weight Loss Plateau
Clean Eating for Weight Loss with Weight Watchers
30 Weight Watchers FreeStyle Zero Point Meals and Snacks
Free Printable Weight Loss Tracker
7 Truths for How to Lose Weight with God’s Guidance
… I spent so many years idolizing what life would be like when I finally got to my goal weight. I needed to go through the mental work of painstakingly deconstructing this myth …
This is so true and for the last few months, maybe years, the fear of going through all the hard work to lose weight and NOT reaching the idolised life I have created has been my excuse to not start trying to lose weight again.
Thank you for this post. Now that I have realised what I am doing and what I am afraid of I too can start deconstructing the myth.
You are right on about the Fear.
Off point but tell Zack that Jaxon says hi.. We miss him
Krista, we still need to do a play date with the boys. Where did summer go?!
River, thanks so much for your honest and heartfelt response. It takes a lot of courage to look at yourself and face up to your behavior and why you do the things you do. You are correct that it’s easier to sit back and say “if only…” then to actually put ourselves out there and go for our dreams. I think a huge word in this whole conversation is PERFECTIONISM. It holds so many of us back from sooo much of life. I know it has for me. If I can’t do it perfectly, or I’m afraid I can’t, forget it — why even try. Perfectionism holds people back from living so much of life. And it’s — for me — a really lame excuse. When I see it in myself now I realize it’s my scapegoat. I ask myself what is really going on. Messing up, or the possibility of messing up, or not being the best, or having some mistakes in it, no longer stops me from doing things. And because of that I’ve done so much more with my life. Like lose weight. Run races. Do triathlons. Adopt children. Start ministries. Start this website and blog. All of which are so very far from perfect but have ended up being…really good! And God has used despite and sometimes because of the mistakes in them. 🙂 Your “mess ups” are going to MAKE YOU the best at your dream job, River. Your life experiences will make you exactly right for those kids! God has had this all planned out from the beginning.
Yes! All the time! This is such a good post. Very insightful. I need to re-read it.
Looking forward to hearing how God uses this to speak to you, Chris.
Fear of success is the story of my life. I’ve been a screw-up for so much of it, I just got used to being the poor little victim of circumstance that can’t do anything right. Now every time something starts to get better a part of me wants to sabotage it. This spring I finally finished all my classes at school…something I’ve been working so so hard at…and in the last month I stopped going to class and nearly failed. I’m VERY ready to be done with school, but I’ve also gotten pretty good at being a student. My whole time being sober I’ve been a student. I’m not sure I know how to be functional outside the world of school. Now I’ve gotten hired for my dream internship, and have some fears related to that because I’ll be working with kids who are a lot like how I was. But way more than afraid of the internship I’m afraid of myself. I want it all to go well so badly, I’m terrified that I’m just going to decide not to show up one day or something and mess it all up. So I guess now I’m afraid of my fear of success? lol For me it’s just that if I don’t try, or if I screw things up on purpose, then I can keep saying, “Well I could’ve done _____ if only _____.” But I give ______ a genuine effort and fail, then I have to sit with the fact that I genuinely couldn’t do it. Of course, who knows what I could do if I really put my all into it without the fear!
Thanks for posting this. Clearly it’s something I connect with a lot! 🙂