- You Are Not Alone (with Depression & Anxiety)
- Depression Does Not Define You
- What Does Depression Look Like?
- 10 Encouraging Bible Verses to Ease Depression
- Navigating Tough Parenting of Teens: When Your Daughter Wants to Dye Her Hair Blue
- How to Manage Depression and Chronic Pain
- Truths About Depression: Stuff You Don’t Want to Hear
- I Got Punched in the Face This Weekend
- Straight Talk About How to Survive Heartbreaking Grief
- For a Day When You Need Motivation
- Sometimes Grief Comes From Unexpected Places
- For Parents of a Teen Who Had a Near Miss
- 10 Simple Ways to Bring Creativity to Your Life
- A Depression Solution: Speak!
- Q & A with a Therapist about Depression
- 4 Realistic Steps to Motivation When You Are Depressed {Based on Research!)
- 101 Ways to Get in a Good Mood When Depressed
- Is it Okay to Avoid Pain?
- How Can I Serve If I’m Depressed?
- Do You Have Angry Depression?
- A Room Full of Love: Thoughts After a Loved One’s Suicide
- Top 5 Offbeat I’m Depressed and Nothing’s Gonna Stop Me Now Movies
- What You Need to Know about Postpartum Depression
- Why You Need More Mental Flexibility
- How To Stop Stress Eating
- How to Exercise When You Don’t Feel Like It – 10 Workout Motivation Tips
- A Cure for Panic Attacks: The Potato Chip Method
- Can’t Sleep? Read This at 3:00 AM (When Depression Causes Insomnia)
- Secondary Traumatic Stress: How I Found Healing
- You Were Set Free For a Reason: A Daily Devotion about Freedom in Christ
- If You Write, Please Read This. (Plus, a FREE GIFT for All!)
Here are some important truths about depression, from a writer sharing her experience as someone who has been depressed and found her way out.
Perspective is grand.
As I’m writing this series about depression and anxiety, I’m not currently depressed.
Not being depressed right now, but looking back over the last 20 years of my adult lifetime and the seasons of my life where I had depression, has given me perspective.
There is a lot written currently to bring awareness and understanding to mental illness, and this is very good.
Please understand that what I’m about to say is not meant in any way to downplay the very real struggles of those with significant (and there is no insignificant — it’s all real) mental illness.
What I’m about to say is going to cost me followers. I’m sure it will tick off people in the blog-o-sphere. But I do not feel called to make people like me.
I feel called to share my truth, and this is my truth.
When I started writing this blog series this summer, I researched. (Did you know an October series starts in June? Blogs are a lot of work.)
What I pulled up was some of the most damn depressing stuff I’ve ever seen. Try it yourself. Go to Google, type in “depression quotes” and go to “images.” Gray. Bleak. Bleck.
This depressing junk is seriously popular. I’m not talking true information. These are quotes and personal sharing.
The top Pinterest pins are these listed below, pinned, read and shared thousands and thousands of times. (With pictures all in blacks and grays, of course.) I won’t even go into the stuff that glorifies cutting.
Here’s What’s Popular About Depression
Here are some of the most popular “encouraging” quotes about depression:
monster don’t sleep under your bed they sleep inside your head.
And then suddenly I became sad for no reason at all.
She was drowning but nobody saw her struggle.
It’s scary what a smile can hide.
I hate this feeling. Like I’m here, but I’m not. Like someone cares, But they don’t. Like I belong somewhere else, anywhere but here.
Look, I understand that it’s helpful to know there are others who are going through a similar experience, especially when you are feeling incredibly lonely.
Now that I’m 20 years on this side of depression, I see patterns. I know certain things to be true. They may not be true for you (and I am not a doctor or a therapist, and I don’t claim to be an expert), but I have a gut feeling they are true for most people.
Truths about Depression: Stuff You Don’t Want to Hear
The times I was depressed, all of these things were true for me.
- Yes, there were physical causes, and yes, medication helped. (Including the times I had postpartum depression.) However, everything else on this list was also true.
- I had past emotional crap I needed to deal with.
- I had distorted thinking patterns that needed to be corrected. (Therapy helped with this.)
- I was not taking care of myself physically in some ways (often many ways).
- I was doing too much and overextended.
- I was wallowing in self-pity and playing the victim.
- I was angry about stuff.
What You Most Need When You Are Depressed
Depression is huge sink hole. The more you are depressed, the more it becomes tempting to get swallowed in the pit. While I’m all for reaching out to others who understand, you have got to step away from that dark stuff.
You must cut that crap out!
Whatsoever things are pure, dear friends. When we are wallowing in the muck, our enemy is happy. He’s just doing a little happy dance when we are huddled in our tiny houses of self-doubt and lying underneath our bedspreads of poor-me.
Do not allow him such a victory as this.
I am not saying it’s easy. Oh gosh no. I’m not saying you are going to go from terribly depressed to happy-happy-joy-joy. Or that you even should.
What I’m saying is take that tiny step toward the good. Take one teeny small step today. Turn off the depressing TV shows. Turn away from the Facebook and Pinterest feeds of depressing sad yuck.
Turn toward the light of God’s refreshing, honest goodness. Feel how wonderful it is, and remember how God desires it for you.
To get you started, here is one of my favorite verses. Click on photo to download and print.
The Hope Toolbox
We are each creating a personal Hope List of ways to get through the bad days. What resources are on your list? Download the My Hope Toolbox printable kit or use your own journal.
Today’s Bible Verse
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.
Philippians 4:8
- You Are Not Alone
- Depression Does Not Define You
- What Does Depression Look Like?
- 10 Encouraging Bible Verses to Ease Depression
- When Your Daughter Wants to Dye Her Hair Blue
- How to Manage Depression and Chronic Pain
- Truths About Depression: Stuff You Don’t Want to Hear
- I Got Punched in the Face This Weekend
- Straight Talk About How to Survive Heartbreaking Grief
- For a Day When You Need Motivation
- Sometimes Grief Comes From Unexpected Places
- For Parents of a Teen Who Had a Near Miss
- 10 Simple Ways to Bring Creativity to Your Life
- A Depression Solution: Speak!
- Q & A with a Therapist about Depression
- Research Shows 4 Keys to Motivation When You Are Depressed
- 101 Ways to Boost Your Mood Immediately
- Is it Okay to Avoid Pain?
- How Can I Serve If I’m Depressed?
- Do You Have Angry Depression?
- A Room Full of Love: Thoughts After a Loved One’s Suicide
- Top 5 Offbeat I’m Depressed and Nothing’s Gonna Stop Me Now Movies
- What You Need to Know about Postpartum Depression
- Why You Need More Mental Flexibility
- How to Eat Healthy When You Don’t Feel Like It
- How to Exercise When You Don’t Feel Like It
- A Cure for Panic Attacks: The Potato Chip Method
- Can’t Sleep? Read This at 3:00 AM
- Do You Have Secondary Traumatic Stress?
- You Were Set Free For a Reason
- If You Write, Please Read This. (Plus, a FREE GIFT for All!)
Not intended as medical advice. Always consult a professional. This series is sharing my experience as someone who was depressed and found healing.
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I enjoyed reading this. The article shed some light on what I am going through. I have struggled with my mental illness almost my whole life . Even though I have had 10 + years of therapy and medicine, I still fall into a pit. I am in a deep pit right now and feel stuck. Somewhere along the way I stopped praying and started to self medicate with food and shopping. Now things are worse but I didn’t realize until I read this article. Thanks for sharing.
When my sister was dying of cancer I fell into depression. I had already watched my Dad, Mom and brother die. My dr. caught it and medicated me. It helped so much. It is surprising what a human can endure, but sometimes we need help. God gave us doctors for a reason.
Pam, you have been through so much. God bless you my friend.
Hi Sara! I appreciate the honesty of your post. I came across it on Pinterest. I was recently inspired to start a whole blog based on anxiety and depression in the Christian community and I’m glad to see someone else talking about it. God Bless!
Thanks for your comment and your insights, Jennifer! I checked out your website and it’s great! Depression and anxiety are such important topics and I really appreciate your willingness to be vulnerable and share your experience.
Comment by: Stephen Walker
Hi Sara,
You are right, depression is everywhere.
I learned very quickly that if you are consulting a doctor, for any reason, you need to be vary careful not to use the “D” word.
They pick up on it in an instant, and make a very big deal of it.
Loved this post! As someone who has struggled with depression on and off my whole life, I agree that a combination of tools works for me. Body, mind, spiritual, medication, support but mostly recognizing the thinking patterns and old tapes that play in my head. It’s also important to work in a field that is supportive and not highly competitive (at least for me) Exercise, gardening and being creative is very healing for me. I had to retire early due to serious heart health issues that were affecting my mind and body and that was truly a huge adjustment. LIfe is full of adjustments and recognizing that God wasn’t out to get me and that life is life truly helped. Challenges are opportunities for growth. We’re all human and life truly has its ups and downs and it’s all part of the process of living on this planet. Tools for coping with life and knowing that gods got my back through every situation and trusting the process makes life more joyful.
I am a 21 year old woman who is a senior in college. Yes… I agree that there is distorted thinking and behaviors that need to be worked on in therapy… But, as someone who has also had multiple seasons of depression, there are times where, even though i may be on hundreds of mgs of medication and going to hours of therapy, i physically cannot – i repeat CANNOT – take care of myself no matter how hard i want to (this might mean showering, feeding myself, etc.) I am not a weak person mentally or physically by any means, i just suffer from a severely debilitating disorder. I also have no trauma from my childhood — my depression is purely chemically based. I think the statement that people who suffer from depression are dealing with issues that they have suppressed or “over extend” themselves or play the “victim” is one that is common today in our culture, and really keeps the stigma of mental illness alive. THIS NEEDS TO END. While this may be the case for you, i think your post is lacking some sensitivity and you should really open your heart to those suffering in similar but very different situations and work to erase the stigma of mental illness and disorders.
Thanks for your comment, Katie. I appreciate hearing different perspectives. You are right that depression is different for everyone and does have a strong chemical and physical component. Thank you for your willingness to share your personal story. I’m sorry to hear of your intense struggles. I hope and pray you find healing and recovery.
Had to quit my job of 7 years due to depression, nervous breakdown. No support group or friends with similar problems. Where do I look for help when everyone including my church thinks I’m crazy or just need to get over myself.
((HUGS)) Melissa. It sounds like it’s been a really difficult road for you. Have you been able to find a helpful therapist?
Find me on Facebook and I will support you.
Good food for thought, Sara. There are so many factors contributing to depression- past trauma that hasn’t been dealt with, physiological issues, the enemy capitalizing on moments of our weakness tempting us to play the victim role instead of turning to Christ…SO many components. We are certainly complex creatures who are fearfully & wonderfully made. Thanks for talking about you own experience!
God’s Blessings,
Sarah
You are right, Sarah, depression is a complex issue. It’s certainly not something that can be easily explained in one blog post. I appreciate your insights in this comment. Thanks for sharing.
Hello, thanks for the reminder that treating depression begins with self care, emotionally, mentally, physically, and especially spiritually. I am in the worst depression of my life (after dealing with it for 25 years) and frankly I want to give up sometimes, I am tired of doing “things” I have Parkinson’s and have no energy to bounce back from this horrible illness. Sometimes I wonder where is God???
I have an extra nasty flavor of bipolar disorder, and haven’t achieved clinical remission in about 3 years. Everything you said is absolutely on the mark, and thank you for the medication mention! It’s been proven over and over again that the most effective treatment includes a holistic approach; medication, therapy, self-care, and a healthy support system are all equally important.
Something else that doesn’t get mentioned enough, is the fact that we need to be educated on signs to look for in our kids, and teaching them coping skills, and yes, getting psychiatric help for them if necessary. My youngest son is also bipolar, and starting him on a mood stabilizer at the tender age of 7 in addition to teaching him how to manage his symptoms will change the course of his life.
Having gone through many times in my life anxious and depressed, I’m very dedicated to helping others with mental/ emotional, and spiritual issues. We get messages from professionals and the media everyday, telling us we have to have medications to overcome emotional suffering. It’s the first thing offered to you when you got the Doctor for help. So many people are fooled into thinking that there’s something defective within their brains causing emotional issues. We eat junk, don’t take care of ourselves, work too hard, play too little and aren’t taught living, spiritual,or coping-skills. With all the talk about mental health out there now, you’d think we’d have figured out that we have to take care of ourselves body, mind and soul. But the messages out there are steering people toward pharmaceuticals instead. Not to say that in some cases medication isn’t needed, but three out of four people who go to the doctor, walk away with drugs that just mask the symptoms. And often cause worse problems in the body.A lot of times nutritional deficits and hormonal imbalances are compounding issues. Yet people are offered drugs, instead of real medical help,or resources for self care. So thank you for putting real help out where it can be accessed by so many. Your Hope Toolbox is an exciting tool I’ll be using, and recommending to others.You are blessing many. And I pray that you are blessed for your hard work.
Apt advice – not easy, but yes, thinking on “these things”! My mind is going in so many different directions, having dealt with issues over the years…thanks for your thoughts here!
I completely agree, and I am in the most severe depression of my life. I think some counselors can even make it worse, I know mine did and I haven’t been back. Before counseling, I would push on, fight through it. My counselor told me that was the wrong thing to do, that it was ok to be sad all the time, and almost encouraged me to actually BE depressed. My depression at the moment is situational, and though I am fighting to get through it, there’s just not a lot I can do with the current circumstances. This is so frustrating, as I can’t see the end. But even going through this, I know focusing on the negative and wallowing only makes it worse. Good for you for pointing it out. I think some people don’t want people to actually get better, as it would affect their business, blog, etc., so they focus more relating to it than getting through it.
I am so sorry to hear of your experience in therapy. Helping normalize an experience for the client is important. However, there are basic steps in the treatment of depression that we know work. Those steps need to be taught while also ensuring the client knows they are not defective (hence the need to normalize). I encourage you to find a therapist who is a better fit for you.
I realize these posts are super old but I couldn’t help but post.
Thanks for the comment, Tim.
This is spot on.
Yes!!!!! My daughter suffers from anxiety and depression and having been there myself and still going through it some I tell her the same things. As soon as those thoughts pop into your head, turn your back, spit in their face, whatever it takes turn it off.
Truth, Cheryl!
I do group therapy it is great. !. Find a team. 2. Get moving. 3. Having an every day routine.
Very happy to include your blog — I love sharing helpful resources with my readers! Thanks for shedding light on an important topic.
Sara, thank you so much for including my post. And your life is inspiring!!! 🙂 ((hugs))
Of course! I’m thankful to share helpful resources with my readers! 🙂
Coming over from #Write31days because my post today was related to depression, though as a result of reverse culture shock. Thanks so much for writing and sharing your wisdom! http://scrapingraisins.blogspot.com/2015/10/day-8-when-you-feel-like-shutting-down.html
This is great truth! So good to know and recognize signs in others or yourself!
Love this post, and so honored to have my blog mentioned. You wrote so well about something that is often taboo and unforgiving, and I appreciate every word. Thank you for sharing!
So true, Sara! I have been nailed for saying that anxiety and depression can’t totally be dealt with if we don’t deal with our junk. So many want to say that we have no control or say in how to handle both of them except with medication. But the truth is that yes, medication helps get you out of the deep hole, but you can’t stay out if you don’t deal with the emotional junk. You have to be taking care of yourself physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
Such truth in your words, Debbie! You spoke it very well. It’s definitely a combination of factors. I’m all for medication when needed, but it cannot be the only treatment. (At least, I can say for myself for certain I needed a combination, and research shows that a combination is most effective.)