I’m lying on my bathroom floor this afternoon. I cannot will myself to get up.
I don’t recommend this. My bathroom floor is disgustingly dirty. Yuck. It’s one of those floors that even when I clean it, it’s still rather gross. Not that I clean it that often.
I am depressed.
Overall things are on an upswing here. All the kids are in school now. (Cue the mass choir of angels singing.) Praise God in the highest heaven, the school district approved and is paying for an out-of-district placement for our behaviorally challenged child in a day-treatment school. Our family can take a collective breath.
Still, today is Saturday and weekends kind of suck.
I hate being the mom that hates having her kids at home. I love my kids. I used to really love my summers and weekends, and I would take the kids all over. We would go to the pool, and to the zoo, and hiking and to parks and museums. Then we would come home and crash and watch TV, lounging sprawled in the family room, limbs splayed in all directions as we soaked in air conditioning and munched on leftover snacks from the bags and coolers.
I remember when I was Fun Mom.
That was not this summer, and that is not me much me right now. We cannot be that now. I hate that that is not me and that we cannot do that and we cannot be that.
Even though we are doing better, we are still not well.
I am heartbroken and bitter and so very very exhausted.
This was me in the past, but it’s not me today.
Over the last 20 years of my adult life, I look back and see my times of depression. Yet I am not a depressed person.
Depression does not define me.
Depression does not need to define you either. How is this possible?
The Hope Toolbox: Practical Help for Depression, Sadness, and Anxiety
Throughout this 31 day series, you will be building your own personal toolbox.
Your Hope Toolbox is a specific list of things to do when you don’t think you can get out of bed and face the world because of depression or sadness.
Rely on your list when the going got tough. Even though you sometimes won’t FEEL LIKE doing something on your list (get up and take a shower, call a friend for support), you will know you can follow through with just one very teeny tiny item on your list.
This mindset has been critical to my road to wellness.
NEW! My Hope Toolbox Printable Kit for Depression and Sadness
NEW! Resource page for The Hope Toolbox! All the daily journaling prompts, daily Bible verses, tons of clickable links, and free printables in one location: Resource List for The Hope Toobox
The Hope Toolbox Series
Printable Download: My Hope Toolbox Printable Kit for Depression & Anxiety
Intro Post: Are Depression & Anxiety Part of Your Life?
Day 1: You Are Not Alone
Day 12: A Depression Solution: Speak!
Day 19: Is It Okay to Avoid Pain?
Day 21: Do You Have Angry Depression?
Day 30: Do You Have Secondary PTSD?
Day 31: You Were Set Free for a Reason
Because you see, Depression is a Liar.
Depression will tell you to stay in bed wallowing in your misery. Depression is a real spiritual and mental battle, my friends. Satan will use it to his every advantage because he does not want to see you out in the world doing good for the kingdom.
I am NOT saying we always have to force ourselves to get out of bed and face the world. Some days, staying in bed eating brownies might be exactly what we need. Sometimes we need to care for ourselves before we can care for others.
What is Depression?
Depression is defined as a mood disorder with persistent feelings of sadness and despondency. Depression lasts over a longer period of time and life. While not easy, depression is treatable and you are not alone!
It is not true that Christians cannot be depressed. Depression is not sinful.
Depression is physical.
Depression is emotional.
Depression is spiritual.
What if My Loved One is Depressed?
If someone close to you is dealing with depression, it’s incredible important that you take optimal care of yourself. Depression is like a black sink hole. You cannot cure your loved one’s depression. You need your own Hope Toolbox in order to care for yourself during this difficult time.
Let’s Begin Creating.
Use The Hope Toolbox to create your own personal list. Make your “Get out of Bed” card for the bad days. Maybe yours will include partnering with a friend to say, “I promise we can call each other on the tough days and give each other tough love,” or maybe yours is funny You Tube videos, or inspiring Bible verses, or a place you know you can drop in to volunteer.
You’ll find all kinds of resources over the next month. I’ll share what’s in mine.
What is in your Hope Toolbox? Let’s build together.
Do you need a printable resource to move you toward hope and wellness?
Please note: I am not a therapist or expert. I encourage you to seek the help of your doctor or therapist for more specific information. Start here: NAMI: National Alliance on Mental Illness to find resources, support groups, information, and more.
Depression & Anxiety?
+Improve your mood in 10 days.
+Reduce stress, anxiety, & panic.
+Daily, practical ideas to get you moving one small step at a time.
+Find joy & purpose.