The day of the family photos, I see a major problem coming.

Getting these photos is one of those things we had been talking about doing forever, but we kept putting off because, well…having our family’s picture professionally taken?

I’d rather poke a fork in my eye.

Seven people, looking at the camera, smiling. No one making googley eyes, picking their nose, picking their brother’s nose?

Impossible.When You See a Major Problem Coming|The Holy Mess

But, I do want the adorable finished product. So, family photo session it is.

The photographer who took our daughter Bekah’s senior photos is awesome. She takes photos on the side as a hobby and is basically laid back and wonderful. Perfect for our crew.

First, we set a date and it rained. Cancel.

The Day of the Family Photos

May, 2015

We rescheduled. The weather is…lousy.

Then it clears…mostly. We dress everyone up and head out.

Brave photographer Colleen calls me on the way to the photo shoot. “I’m willing to try this if you are, but I’ve got to tell you, it’s really windy down here. You might look like you are in a wind tunnel.”

I debate for about 5 seconds and then say, “We’re coming.”

Just getting us all ready in the matchy-but-not-too-matchy clothes is event enough. I didn’t know if I could survive it again.Walking Back Family Photo

The kids are hyper and the weather isn’t great, but all in all it really wasn’t too bad.

We laugh a lot. We get fantastic photos.

In between pictures, the kids fight with sticks. (Is there ANYTHING that does not become a weapon in the hands of a little boy?) So I say, why not? Everyone picks one up, and we have a stick war. (After all, we want a true depiction of our family.)Battle Family Photo|The Holy Mess

And yet.

There is something in my mother heart that knows our time together as a family is short.

Something darker is brewing.

We have been having trouble, really serious trouble with our 10 year old son, both at home and at school. There is a heavier turn to his rages that has me deeply worried. This is beyond what should be okay. This is so not okay.

He is scaring me, and I don’t scare easily.

Will he be able to stay with our family? Will we be safe?

Will he have to live in residential treatment?

When the pictures came back, I see it there. He’s adorable and his grin is as charming as ever, but there’s a fear and unsettledness behind those eyes I know so well.

My son is feeling it too.

Still Standing

Bible Verse

Forever, O Lord, your word
    is firmly fixed in the heavens.
 Your faithfulness endures to all generations;
    you have established the earth, and it stands fast.
 By your appointment they stand this day,
    for all things are your servants.

Psalm 119:89-91

forever-o-lord-pinJournal Prompt

As you think back on your life, were there times you sensed a dark time was coming? What did you do?


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